First Things First

Put first things first
and we get second things thrown in:
put second things first
& we lose both first and second things.

C. S. Lewis, Letter to Dom Bede Griffiths

Recovery Begins Here

This section is not a preface. It is the most important section on the site so please don't skip over it. First things should be attended to first! I'm going to lead you on this site through a whole overview of grief in terms of what it is, how to carry it, and how to recover through cooperating with it, so settle in for the long haul. My plan is to bring you along on the same path I was taken--one step at a time. Once again, please don't run ahead. It will only put you further behind than you may already feel.

It seems like an odd place to begin, but the first thing you need to figure out is whether on not you want to (eventually) mend from the terrible blow you've experienced. Jesus once asked an obviously afflicted man what he wanted done for him (Luke 18:41). You would think that healing him would be obvious, but many are they who don't want to be healed. Whether it is a debilitating illness or a devastating loss there are secondary benefits that go with "victim" status. Many become hooked on the ready attention and sympathy it attracts from others or the cloying comfort self-pity supplies.

The good news is that if you want to be healed, there is a God who is more than able to help you get a full recovery from any blow that life throws at you. You can certainly be restored to a life that you enthusiastically want to live again. I'm living proof of that. But it took a journey to get me to the place that I now enjoy. At first, the very thought of recovering seemed all but impossible--even with the Lord helping me. As with anything worthwhile in life, there was a lot I had to learn and a lot I had to do. Brace yourself. It may feel like you're strapped into a roller coaster seat with no control (our emotions certainly scream out that message) but in truth, you're still in the driver's seat and the Lord will be asking you to work the wheel and the pedals.

But that's why you're here, isn't it? You're looking to mend and hoping it's possible. You've come to the right place! So, let your eyes roam over these previews, then get started by clicking on the teardrop.

List of Articles

 Is This for You?   If you want words that will help you fully recover from the loss and also be that better version of yourself while going through the grief, then these words will inspire you to get started! Otherwise, there are plenty of pillow soft words out there to cuddle you, though they'll keep you from reaching the desired destination.

 Don't Believe What They Say Perhaps like me, you can't remember ever having been taught how to go through grief. Not directly at least. Even so, it's hard to avoid absorbing the dubious "teachings" coming to us through the surrounding culture, whether it's post-modern or post-christian. That "Cultural Book on Grief" leaves a lot to be desired!

 An Overview of the Terrain If you're heading into territory you're never explored before, it's best to have a map and a compass. The compass is our continuous connection to the Lord through conscience and the Holy Spirit. The map for this journey is supplied through one special passage of scripture: Psalm 84. We will all one day want to shake the hand of the one who wrote this.

Three Necessary Tasks  One might think that all grief really involves is a focus on the one we lost, but there is so much more to really good grieving than that. Of these three core elements, one has to do with your loved one, one has to do with you, and the third has to do with what that rascally enemy is doing to muck up the process.

What the Crisis Reveals  Before starting out on most journeys, the wise traveler takes inventory of what to bring along and packs accordingly. Grief is different. You have already come pre-packed with a lot of unhelpful things that you won't want to bring along. The process reveals them. Then, it will be your choice what to unpack...

Scripture

And Jesus stopped and commanded him to be brought to him. And when he came near, he asked him, 'What do you want me to do for you? He said, Lord, let me recover my sight.' Luke 18:40-41 ESV